The Munchie Must: Hillbilly Goulash

Eat well, on a budget

Hillbilly Goulash

 Ingredients:

One box of elbow macaroni. $1.25
One can of whole peeled tomatoes. $1.50
One block of longhorn style Colby cheese. $3.25
 
Total: $6.00

Fill a large pot with water and bring to a rolling boil.
Put entire box of macaroni in water.

Chef Chip English

Shred entire block of cheese
 
When pasta is cooked al dente (cooked with some firmness still) drain, and combine all ingredients in the same pot. Stirring occasionally until cheese is completely melted and tomatoes are hot.
 
Serve and enjoy.

Serves 6-8 people or one person for a week.

Chef Chip English was born in Weirton, WV and has lived in Florida. He went to culinary school in Philadelphia, and currently resides in Atlanta, Ga. He works as a chef and a restaurant consultant. He's been in the restaurant and food business for over 25 years, working all over the east coast and parts of the Caribbean.

Sound and Feeling: Ronnie Beets

Ronnie Beets was born in Fortaleza, Brazil some 30 years ago, though you would never know it by his beguiling good looks. He has been drawing, painting, and otherwise making the world a more interesting place since his childhood.   

He recalls the first painting he ever really studied, Picasso's 'Les Demoiselles d'Avignon' and acknowledges how that particular piece has influenced so much of his work since.  “(The painting) is monumental, in the sense of its size and epic in the scale of its implications.  You can interpret this piece from such a broad spectrum of experience that anyone with even half a brain can derive from it.  That's exactly what makes it so wonderful!" 

 Beets goes on to explain his distaste for explaining his work to the viewer.  "If you cannot pull your own personal meaning from a piece of art, then it is clearly not for you.  I desire that my work, like those that I admire so much, is emotionally available to the majority of people who see them.  That's what I really want."

Name three items you would want to have if you were stranded on a desert island.

 Stranded on a desert island?  I would have Chik-fil-a sandwiches, Jack Daniels, and one of those books that tell you how to survive if stranded on a desert island.

What are you currently reading?

 At the moment, I am finishing up A Million Little Pieces.  For Middle America, a shocking account of addiction and rehabilitation.  For me, not so shocking.

Describe how your favorite day would play out?

The best day would be waking up and feeling well rested, having coffee then going for a nice walk.  I would spend the afternoon painting and playing music, dancing with myself. I would receive a call from the gallery representing me to let me know that my exhibit had sold out and several more shows and commissions have been lined up.  I would go out for a drink or five to celebrate with a small handful of proud and supportive friends.  My parents would call and tell me how proud they were then I would settle in for the evening curled up and kissing the face of someone beautiful who thinks I am amazing.  I would dream all night and wake up full of ideas for the next pieces and do it all again.

Do you have any David vs. Goliath stories from your past? Were you the good guy?

Not really...

Do you dream in color?                                                                                           

Yes! Always!

What’s your favorite movie quote?

"Don't fuck with me, fellas!"

What color if any is your aura?

Aura? Oh, bitch, please...

If there are past lives, who do you think you were?

I believe that I have always been and shall continue to be whoever I may presently be.

Coffee, tea or hot toddy?

Coffee. Black.

What major historical event would you have loved to be present for?

I would like to have been present for the building of the Great Pyramid at Giza.

Boxers, briefs, or commando?

Yes.

If you got a Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavor to name, what would you call it?

Try Ben & Jerry's new Menthol Whiskey Swirl!

Do you have any irrational fears?

I am terrified of flying.  Absolutely terrified.

                                                                                                                           What was your first job?

My first job was a bag boy at a Winn-Dixie, which later became Ingles Market.  Damn, I'm getting old...

What’s your biggest pet peeve?

I hate disorganization, sloppiness, and clutter.  Drives me nuts.

What was your first car?

My first car was a ‘93 Pontiac Bonneville.  It was actually a nice little car.  I drove it to Key West and the transmission fell out and then...oh, never mind.

What old past time might you want to have brought back?

I would like to rekindle my interest in Philately.  It was very relaxing and I had a knack for finding the rare ones.  (Don't feel ashamed if you have to look it up, dear reader.)

What’s in your music player?

No comment...

What age do you hope to die?

76 seems about right.  Not leaving too soon and not hanging around     too long.  Yeah, 76 is good.

See more of Ronnie's artwork at http://www.artbeets.com/

Funny, Rude Astrology

Aries
 My dear Aries I do hate to deflate your already massive ego, but it
seems the stars have a special plan for you. The plan involves exhibitionism,
so don’t become too sheepish. Run naked!
Taurus
Trust in the stars these coming months my bovine friend.You may want
to charge head first into success, but in the end you will find your
success is just more bullshit. MOOOO!!

Gemini
There are so many awesome things that come in pairs; shoes,speakers,and comedy acts. For 

you my dear Gemini, in these coming months you will resemble a very odd pair. Something
like a two headed snake fighting over its own prey. May the best head
win!
Leo
Retract those claws and calm those paws, my pretty little kitties.These
coming months are the time in which your mighty roar might just come
out a mite hair ball. Meow.
Virgo
Dear Virgo I think it's time the virgin lost their V-card. If it's
anything like my first time then watch out. This will be just one of
the many disappointing choices you will make in these coming months. Have
fun, wrap it up!
Libra
Dear Libra if the next few months are a mountain, then you will find
at the top the popularity you so often long for. The down side is at
the top is a sharp lonely cliff. “Sometimes you get what you
need”-Rolling Stones
Scorpio
Uhhh.. turns out the stars say that you're pretty much F#@KED!The
upside; to you female Scorpios there is a 95% chance that somewhere in
the coming months you will have a period.
Sagittarius
Your aloof nature will be key for your survival in the coming months.
As all the bombs blow up around you, you will be Helen Keller in
the melee.
 

Capricorn
Ah yes my aquatic goat friend. In the months ahead you may need to
channel the energies of other such freakish animals as the
platypus, or the blue-footed booby. Get weird!
Aquarius
These next few months should be a bit more rocky for you Aquarius. So
don’t worry about going with the flow so much. It's my advice that you
spike the water jug because you're gonna need it. Bottoms up.
Pisces
This month you will be a real fish out of water. Enjoy the alienation
for the presents of haters is also the presence of greatness.

Cine-MO-tography: Sleepwalk With Me

Cine-MO-tography 
Sleepwalk With Me

Mike Birbiglia is a funny guy, there’s no denying that. If you enjoy laughing at the sadness and irony within the mundane repetitive everyday delivered dryly while forgiving you the transgression of apathy…Sleepwalk With Me is your movie.

The content of the film is more complicated than the trailer gives it credit. Its main dichotomy is between childhood and adulthood. In childhood the answers are simple: Yes, No. In adulthood it doesn’t matter what the answer is but it matters why is that the answer. 

Visual contrast can be found in the scenes with Matt, our sleepwalker, alone and any scenes where he is joined by family and/or his girlfriend, Abby. The scenes that allow for this interaction of the familiar are bright and saturated in a way that oozes a cozy feeling. You could find yourself lost in the wispy red hairs of Abby or dumbstruck by the amber light of family dinner filled with contention but still honey dipped. When Matt is alone and on the road as a comedian colors pale and shadows deepen. The Dream sequences are vivid, hilarious, and engaging in a fashion that shows to some extent why and how one can get so wrapped up in them, and consider them real beyond their face value absurdity. 

Dreaming the amazing and the impossible while incorporating a touch of reality you are familiar with is natural to childhood like eating cotton candy at the fair. In the film, as the dream time turns into awake grown up reality, the rug is yanked so hard it will remind you of the first bill with your name on it, the first flaw you saw in your father and all the other disappointments that come with maturing. 

Caution: This is not a film you should bring your long standing girlfriend to unless things are grand, or you have put on armor and placed a sword on your hip. It could be an uncomfortable ride home for everyone. Relationship woes will be sliced open like a scorching knife through warm butter.

 

Matt’s parents are both hilariously bewildered by their troubled son. Carol Kane and James Rebhorn’s performances are charming and so believable it will feel as if you have always known Matt’s parents. 

Facing adulthood with maturity and honesty always goes easier in the company of friends, mixed with laughter and a bit of perspective. This combination is laced throughout the film and makes the laughter hurt so good. 

Sleepwalk With Me is a film directed, written and starring Mike Birbiglia. The cast also includes Lauren Ambrose, Carol Kane, and James Rebhorn. It was produced in part by This American Life’s Ira Glass. It is in theaters and On Demand and on Netflix. 

Content: 4 beers of a 6 pack           Visual Appeal: 4 beers of a 6 pack

Audience Appeal: 3 out of 6 pack

Overall: 2 out of 3 fist bumps

-Mo

Carapace: Atlanta's stories told well

Feeling a bit awkward knowing I’d be sitting at a table alone, strangers greet me and smile as if I’ve known them for years. I ordered a beer to feed my courage and one of those smiling greeters came over to my table and asked me with a serious face on,

  “Are you in the Hat yet?”

The faces filling the room range quite widely in age, from fresh out of college to twilight years. Hipsters sat next to small town grandmothers of four. Brooding writers and social activists shared tables with Vietnam veterans and patrons bearing bulging Afros or stretched ear lobes. All of them gathered to hear and share stories. True stories.

An exuberant MC, Lance Colley reminds us of the topic of the evening, “Taboo” and to stay true. From the black velvet Hat he pulls the names of the chosen and up each teller goes. They fill the room with laughs, tears, sighs and my personal favorite, the uncomfortable squirm.

My favorite teller of the evening elicited this squirm. Her story surrounded the purchase of an intimate nature that is rarely spoken of (at least in mixed company)…..a menstrual cup. She could have been crowned queen of unabashed honesty for even saying those words into a public microphone. Add to it that she’s a regular and perhaps we should skip the ceremony and go straight to her everlasting reign as Empress. Or is it that level of comfort with this crowd and this process that allows it to be just another evening gathered around the campfire?

A few story topics included:

-A psychic prophecy coming to tragic fruition

-A brush with homelessness juxtaposed with suburban American gluttony

-A college student finds that praise for one’s writing can often backfire

-Finding kindness and a kindred spirit in a foreign land

-80s night with a jumbotron sized misunderstanding

A substantive plot in a story helps but the magic lies in the telling. One teller stopped and gave as an aside, “I did not intend for my life to be filled with salacious encounters in public restrooms, but that is the life that God has chosen to give me.”

  

Whether or not you feel you have a grand tale within you or the courage to tell it, you should attend. Hearing these tales connects us as fellow villagers. Such a connection is crucial at a time when we are often too engrossed in our music, games, or social media status to notice who our fellow villagers even are.

  This is also a wonderful excuse to frequent the iconic Manuel’s Tavern. 

The Hat wants you and you want in the Hat.

Carapace happens on the 4^th Tuesday of the month at Manuel’s Tavern @ 602 N. Highland Ave., Atlanta, Georgia @ 7:30p.m.

carapacestories@gmail.com

http://www.carapacestories.com/newcarapace.html

-Mauree "Mo" Culberson